Ruminating

The last month has been a whirlwind! It would too easy to update you all on everything we've done. (If you have Facebook, you already know and this would just be redundant.)

So... this entry will be a little different.

It's "something" to watch your kids grow up isn't it? Granted, mine are still very young, but there are "somethings" everyday that Kate and I are with them that make our time together so special.

This year has brought many firsts for them. Carter getting a big boy bed. Emma entering kindergarten and now first grade. Emma learning to read. Carter making friends at Merrill Palmer. Emma losing her first teeth. Sledding and ice skating for the first time. Riding a tube behind a boat on a family vacation. Sleepovers with friends in the backyard. Opening savings accounts. Going to church every week.

The next year will hold many more "firsts" for them. We're planning to get a dog in the next few months. Emma is so excited, she doesn't know what to do with herself. Carter's only concern with it is that he doesn't want to clean the poop up outside. A year from now, both of them will be in school at the same school together, and Kate and I will be able to pick them up most afternoons right from school.

Its "something" to lay in bed one at a time with them each night right before they go to sleep talking about their day. We pray every night. The first words are always, "Dear Jesus, thank you for the wonderful day." Its warming to hear what they then start thanking Him for. Sometimes its simply for us having dinner together every night, or going on a walk down to the pond. Other times, its for family members who we saw that weekend, or for the little puppy that we played with at the pet store. And every single night, they thank Him for having this family.

Its "something" when Emma asks and wants to know all about God and Jesus, and heaven. She has so many questions. I remember her telling me one morning when she was about 3, that she had seen Jesus in her room that night before and that she talked to him. In the chaos of our lives at the time, Emma knew that there was someone there watching over her when she needed it.
It's "something" that Carter has found his voice in the last month or so. Before, he was quiet and timid. He has become a chatterbox as of late and will tell you some of the funniest things imaginable. His latest, is that he and Laniya (a pretty little girl at his school) are married. If you ask him why and how, he replies that he gave her a kiss before they took a nap one day and that if you kiss someone then you are married. Innocence....

It's "something" to see how they have taken to having a new set of grandparents and two new aunts this year. "Mr. Tom" and "Momo" (Terry) opened their arms to them. I'll never forget hearing how excited they were on the night that Kate and I went on our honeymoon that they were able to spend that evening being grandparents, truly, for the first time. Aunts Gina and Beth have been wonderful to them as well. It really is a blessing for us all.

It's "something" to see the love in their eyes when they are with Kate. She has brought so much happiness to their lives just in the last 5 months. Emma has learned to scrapbook from Mama Kate. The art table in the basement was Kate's idea. It has allowed Em to express her self in so many creative ways to everyone. Carter has learned that his favorite thing to do on the way to school is sing The Thymes beach music song, "Miss Grace" with M'Tatie. He challenges her at times, but I think its because he wants to make sure she's always going to treat him like a big boy. They listen to her. Not because they have to, but because they want to. She gives them her full attention. Its an interesting dichotomy from the past.

It's "something" to look at the past year and imagine that their lives would be as stable now considering how tremulous and tumultuous things were a year ago. They are strong kids. Emma is going to be a leader someday. She already does it now. She's brave, thoughtful, courteous and so compassionate. Carter is coming into his own now a bit. He's creative, industrious, and now...quite gregarious. All of those traits will serve them well as they continue to grow up.

Myself, well, I'm just thankful. I know that my life has been blessed in the past year. While some people I know will point to the various challenges we've had since last summer, I can't help but look at it as the most important and most blessed time of my life. I found love. I found a life outside of work. I found a new family...a new mom and dad and two sisters and two sets of grandparents who trust me and accept me and Kate and this path that we've set off on together. I know my side of the family "gets" it...its just so reassuring to know that the other side "gets" it too. We just want to be a family.

I'm a lucky man.

Port Huron, Saginaw and the Tooth Fairy

The last two weeks have been busy! On the first day the kids were back at the house after spending a week at their mom's, we decided to take off to the beach at Port Huron. (For you non-Michiganders, look at the palm of your right hand. Port Huron is right where your thumb hits the bottom of your index finger. Macomb is a little to the southwest of that.) Carter, Emma and I packed a picnic lunch and some cold CapriSuns and hit the smooth stone beach right by the Fort Gratiot lighthouse and the Bluewater Bridge.

A year ago, Carter would have rather walked through fire (or a house full of "BIG DOGS"), than to let his tender little feet touch the sand. As you can see, he has clearly gotten over that phobia. We stayed for about three hours, watching the massive tankers leave the port and holding our breath at every passing sailboat as they seemed to speed past what nearly always seemed certain doom. Emma found a friend for them both to play with and they seemed to have a great time!

Over the next few days we followed our normal summer routine: Carter at Merrill Palmer on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday while Emma spent the day with Kate on Tuesday and Thursday while enjoying a day of fun a the Sequoyah Day Camp on Wednesday. Family dinners every night followed by a little desert and maybe a walk to the pond or around the block.

On Friday, we drove up to Saginaw (about an inch under your middle finger non-Michiganders) to spend the weekend with Kate's parents, Tom and Terry. We got to spend time with Aunts Gina and Beth! On Saturday, we attended the 10th Annual Dubay Family Reunion in Gladwin. Tom, Kate, Kevin (Beth's fiance) and myself played in a golf scramble that morning and then met up with the rest of the family for lunch and the rest of the day. It was unseasonably chilly all day with the hi temps only reaching into the low 60's. Thank God for Tom's Spicy Bloody Mary's on the front 9 and then a couple of brewskis on the back 9.

As we moved into this week Kate and I kept talking to Emma about her loose front tooth that REALLY needed to get pulled as it had been loose for what seemed like a month. On Wednesday night, Emma finally built up the courage to pull it...by herself! It took about an hour for her to finally get it out. Most of the time was spent in the bathroom watching the tricks she could do with her dangling tooth with her tongue. At one point, the tooth was sticking at almost a right angle to her other teeth! The Tooth Fairy visited at some point that night and left Emma $5 for a perfect incisor to add to her collection.

Welcome to our Story

Well this is new. Never thought that I'd think about blogging. Interesting concept though - as the "Original Southern Six" from New Bern, NC all spread out, it allows us all to stay in contact with each other in perhaps a little different way than what we are used to. I'm game and ready to give this a try for a while.

For those of you who don't know the Michigan Southerns...I'll try to catch you up to speed. I'm married to the most beautiful, brilliant and loving mother in the whole world, Kate (Dubay) Southern. We have two kids: Emma, who is six and heading to 1st grade this fall, and Carter, who is almost four and enjoying preschool.

Kate and I are both graduate students in the Speech-Language Pathology program within the Communication Sciences and Disorders Department at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan.

Kate is originally from Saginaw, Michigan and is a graduate of Michigan State University with a B.A. in Psychology. She is now a full-time student in the SLP program at Wayne. She LOVES to work with kids in therapy and is truly an amazing clinician to watch. She engages on a level that they "get" and has made true progress with the kids that she has worked with so far. Next January, she will start an internship working with the Bloomfield Hills schools. I am very excited for her. At home, she is an engaging mother who we are all lucky to have in our lives. Much like at school, she handles motherhood at a level that the kids understand. They simply adore her.

I am part-time in the SLP program and presently work as a manager for CVS Pharmacy. My passion in SLP is with fluency disorders and their neurological basis. Kate and I are working on a research project right now that looks at neurological trends in people who stutter who also use the Speech Easy Fluency Device (of which I am also a user).

Kate and I met about two years ago at school. We both were married before but forged a tight friendship at a time when both of our marriages were disintegrating. In our darkest hours, we found a solace in each other that led us to fall in love. We were married this past March 14.

Emma and Carter are our truest passions. We are truly blessed to have a daughter and son who are so resilient, so brave and so loving. The past year was tough for them, but they have handled it well.

Emma's kindergarten year at Sequoyah Elementary was fantastic. She loved her teacher, Mrs. Hagel and made great strides in reading and basic math. She absolutely loves to read and learn everything that she can. 1st grade will be fun for her. We're on a summer reading and writing plan right now so that she can leap right in feet first this fall. Its so cool to see how excited she gets about doing her "homework". Emma likes to play board games like CandyLand and Pretty Pretty Princess. Lately, we've been transitioning into games like Memory --mine must be going because she whips up on me pretty bad rather consistently.

Carter attends the Child Development Lab at the Merrill Palmer Skillman Institute on Wayne State's campus. ( http://mpsi.wayne.edu/education/child-development.php ) His class is very neat - the enrollment is truly diverse with many ethnicities and nationalities represented. He attends Tuesday through Thursday each week for about 6-7 hours each day. In a way, it is like watching a mini-kindergarten class. Kate and I will sometimes sneak over there when we can and watch some of his class from an observation room that sits above the classroom. Having him down there in such a rich environment is something that we are truly lucky to have.

Just since the March wedding, we've been busy! Weekend trips to Saginaw, visits to the Science Center and Zoo, visits by the Nanas....lots of stuff to keep us busy...but most importantly...doing things as a family.

Stay posted for updates about once a month!